Add it to the pile, Henri! Just add it to the pile!

From: McSweeney's Lists []

Sent: Tuesday, March 27, 2012 7:08 AM

To: Abbi M. Dion

Re: List by Abbi Dion

Hi, Abbi -I'm afraid we're a little Facebooked out at the moment. It’s a popular subject in our inbox. Thanks for the look, nonetheless.



On 3/20/12 4:44 PM, "Abbi M. Dion" wrote:

My Top Ten Self-Edited (Immediately Deleted) Facebook Status Updates
By Abbi Dion
1. The latest America's Next Top Model photo shoot challenge means the world is just over.
2. Had a dream last night I was driving through Uptown with my father and at the stoplight he mentioned that I come from a long line of mental illness and alcoholism.
3. Moratorium on "insecure" starting now until forever.
4. Just found out next year's MLA is being held in Philadelphia. Mental note: perfect time to take that vacation to Saskatchewan I've been promisng myself.
5. Turns out I will NOT be deleting my Facebook profile. In the event I empty my bank account and self-publish my novel, I’ll need a vector for disseminating said info.
6. Who moved my tranquilizers? Also looking for a half-drunk bottle of red zin. Please advise.
7. Mofos get out!
8. Does anyone else think … forget it.
9. If tonight's episode of Law and Order isn't one of the ones with Jerry Orbach, I'm calling in sick tomorrow.
10. Just spent the last hour scouring the Facebook profile of a stranger's ex-wife, I think. It seems she's having some kind of an argument with a friend, who may or may not be a local television personality.


Anonymous said...

Facebook is almost guaranteed rejection with McSweeney's, I believe. I was thinking of doing something "New Facebook Timeline"-themed, but even that would be tough.

abbimireilledion said...

They seem to reject all of my ideas, topical and arcane, but a Facebook-themed list/story/whatnot was probably an error in judgment. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, I'm back, because I've given up on McSweeney's as of today, and came back to see if you'd tried anything else. I've actually had a few things published on McSweeney's, 2/12 or so. Then, the last 8 submissions in a row got rejected. It's really just hit or miss, trust me, the biggest thing being "balancing between 'too caustic venomous' and being 'too wacky, zany'. But it's honestly not worth too much of your time. Take care.

abbimireilledion said...

I def fall on the side of "too caustic venomous" and I'm not sure how to correct for that, though I endeavor to do so! I have never written wacky/zany tomfoolery and I dare say I never will, but more power to the tee-hee set. Also, congrats to you! Well done.